Holding Grudges

"For is you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Matt. 6:14

Many years ago both my husband and I worked for the same company. We had a boss, who was also a personal friend, who used to say that he would rather see Jerry mad every day than me mad once. At the time, Jerry had a quick temper. It didn't take a lot to set him off, but he cooled off quickly, also. I, on the other hand, did not get angry easily or quickly, but boy could I make you suffer when I did get angry. My cold logic and sharp tongue could cut someone to pieces before they ever realized they were in a danger zone. It was not pretty.

I was also particularly adept at holding grudges. I think my record was the six years I refused to have any contact with my father. The reasons for the breach in our relationship were real, but irrelevant. They did not warrant my response. Shortly after my salvation, the Holy Spirit convicted me and the Lord required that I make amends. People with cold logic and sharp tongues do not have an easy time eating humble pie. But, the result was a restored relationship and a grandfather for my children.

That event, coupled with the unexpected deaths of several close family members, trained me to keep accounts with the people who are close to me up to date. If there is an issue, it needs to be quickly resolved. If the fault is mine, confession, repentance and amends need to be made quickly. If another offends me, the offense needs to be shaken off, forgiven, and forgotten. It is easier said than done, but the more often it is done, the easier it becomes.

Fast forward to current news events of this week:

1. "Have you no shame?" It is the question one congressional candidate asked another as his commitment to his faith was questioned. He then refused to shake the other person's hand after a debate. (Note to self: people will judge you by your actions, not your accusations.) If I want to prove to someone that I am firm in my Christian faith, turning the other cheek might be more appropriate than snubbing the accuser.
   
2. The wife of a sitting Supreme Court Justice called a woman who made an accusation against her husband during his nomination process 20 years ago. If reconciliation is the point, so be it. If an apology is the point, turn it loose. Forgiveness is something you do for yourself, not someone else. You do not need an explanation, understanding, or apology to forgive someone for something they have done to you. (And, don't even go down the road of, "you don't understand my circumstances." Of course I don't understand your circumstances, but I learned this lesson over forgiving the man who murdered my mother. Still want to trade stories?)
   

The bottom line, life is too short to hold grudges. Examine yourself and see if there are any accounts that need to be settled in your personal relationships. Letting the past go and choosing not to pick up new offenses is like losing weight - everything around you seems better.

Lord, bring to mind any accounts in my relationships that need to be addressed. Help me to be quick to apologize and quick to forgive.